Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
