Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
