You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
