We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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