I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
