It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
