omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
