Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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