you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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