He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
