ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
