the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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