That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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