I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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