Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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