:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pants 0. Shit 1.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
