i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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