Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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