i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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