btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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