i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
