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• (248): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I want leopard sheets

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  haha sexcapades

  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the plan

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  what do you have against ST

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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• (585): View more from New York

  The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i might be a female sloth

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• (818): View more from California

  Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face

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