Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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