do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
