I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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