Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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