The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
