you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
