How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
third nipple confirmed
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
