If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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