just survived the first fart of the relationship.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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