apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I didn't notice because vodka
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
