love makes seman taste better
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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