i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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