I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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