Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
only if we run a train.
done.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
