you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
