At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
