Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
