I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
