we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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