how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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