His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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