Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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