I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I need to stop coming to work sober
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
