Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
