I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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