Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
