guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
