he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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